This is what I have to avoid, I must not put in strangeness where there is none.
I think that is the big danger in keeping a diary: you exaggerate everything.
You continually force the truth because you're always looking for something....
The strangest thing is that I am not at all inclined to call myself insane,
I clearly see that I am not; all these changes concern objects..
At least, that is what I'd like to be sure of....
jean-paul sartre " nausea "
..well, when I heard him come up the stairs,
it gave me quite a thrill, it was so reassuring:
what is there to fear in such a regular world?
I think I'm the one who has changed: that's the simplest solution.
Also the most unpleasant.
.....I exist. It's sweet, so sweet, so slow.
And light: you'd think it floated all by itself.
It stirs. It brushes by me, melts and vanishes.
Gently, gently. There is bubbling water in my mouth.
I swallow. It slides down my throat, it caresses me - and now
it comes up again into my mouth.
For ever I shall have a little pool of whitish water in my mouth
- lying low - grazing my tongue.
And this pool is still me.