This is what I have to avoid, I must not put in strangeness where there is none.
                       I think that is the big danger in keeping a diary: you exaggerate everything. 
                  You continually force the truth because you're always looking for something....
                   The strangest thing is that I am not at all inclined to call myself insane,  
           I clearly see that I am not; all these changes concern objects..
                     At least, that is what I'd like to be sure of....
                                          
jean-paul sartre " nausea "
..well, when I heard him come up the stairs, it gave me quite a thrill, it was so reassuring: what is there to fear in such a regular world? I think I'm the one who has changed: that's the simplest solution. Also the most unpleasant. .....I exist. It's sweet, so sweet, so slow. And light: you'd think it floated all by itself. It stirs. It brushes by me, melts and vanishes. Gently, gently. There is bubbling water in my mouth. I swallow. It slides down my throat, it caresses me - and now it comes up again into my mouth. For ever I shall have a little pool of whitish water in my mouth - lying low - grazing my tongue. And this pool is still me.